Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can
disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to
every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel like there is
something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your
optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best,
and expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on the
greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give
every living person you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too
strong for fear, and to happy to permit the
presence of trouble.
http://www.villagehero.com/motivational-poems.htm
Promise Yourself
More effort = better results??? always?
I believe that we all had been in the same situation at one time or the other in our lives where most of us think of ‘giving’ and ‘giving’ and ‘giving’ to our loved one as being a GOOD thing. True… it is a good thing, something that we had been taught that from the crib, and when it's done in a healthy manner any relationship that is fed by that giving will forever be healthy. Not turn into one of those poisonous fountains where every whiff reeks of resentment, resentment because it’s you who has to give all the time.
So all we have to do to keep our relationships healthy is to make it a balanced experience where we learn to give and to take from each other, where we learn to look after our own needs along with the needs of those who are cherished by us. So SIMPLE! Right!
WRONG: it's not always that simple. Many of us women unwittingly (and in a mistake belief that it will increase our LOVE) give TOO FREELY to the men in their lives. Many end up disillusioned, resentful, hurt, angry and dissatisfied with the lot that they had been served in life.
The Question however is: WHAT'S MISSING? Even after so much giving, WHAT IS WRONG?
RECIPROCITY! That’s what goes missing. And that’s what eventually poisons the whole entire pond of affection.
If in a relationship you're the one who's giving, doing all the work,... and you're not getting anything back for all the effort that is being put, (apart from that being one sided and hence being not a proper relationship )... it is a form of EXPLOITATION! (So very Ugly is it not? Had anyone ever looked at it that way I wonder?)
'But what about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?' Some would ask. 'How is THAT exploitative?' While there is nothing wrong with unconditional love, we all should understand that it becomes “love “only when it’s reciprocated on both sides. Not on one side! (Just a healthy form of infatuation than?)
In ANY relationship there needs to be a balance. If there is no balance, and if you're the one 'doing all the work', then yes, you are the more vulnerable one. It’s not a healthy relationship as nothing healthy will ever come out of it. 
This is the reason why, after many years of unprecedented love, many woman turn out to be bitter, hateful creatures. They become tired of giving love and care but receiving none in return. However this bitterness should not be laid totally at their partner’s door either. We as women had made the bed ourselves in the first stages of our relationships. We had been giving so unconsciously and instinctively for so long that we do not even know why we are so resentful ourselves and hence, we remain unable to explain the source of our hatred to our loved ones who remain confused, harboring their own dissatisfaction with the sudden change. After all, had it not worked for years? So what is the reason for the anger and the dissatisfaction now?
The only way to avoid this is to understand that you as an individual have needs of your own and when you feel strongly about something (like the fact that you deserve to be loved and treated well), you have to demonstrate some backbone. Stand up for yourself! Don’t just keep giving and giving in the hope that sooner or later they'll just magically start reciprocating.
This is not one of those things where 'MORE EFFORT = BETTER RESULTS’.
Most of us woman develop the habit of repressing our instincts even if the instincts are screaming themselves horse warning us of the danger. We have to truly learn to understand and accept that female intuition in many times, in this especially, is usually correct. If you're starting to feel that you are being taken for granted, as if he's not appreciating you enough, or that all your efforts are going unnoticed, THEY PROBABLY ARE!
What you need to do here is expend LESS effort, not more! (this is not the same thing as tit for tat or withdrawing ourselves, or playing hard to get, but it’s simply avoiding giving more than necessary and smothering the person in your love with the intention of binding the person to you)
There is never going to be any genuine closeness or love between you and a man unless he is able to RESPECT you, respect which will dwindle away to nothing if he is able to treat you like trash while getting the best out of you, when he is so sure of you that he can walk all over you. Love the man, but love yourself respect a bit too. For Without respect, there is NO TRUST. And without trust, there is NO RELATIONSHIP. At least, not one worth being in!
Because only when you treat yourself like you have some value, and only when you EXPECT to receive good treatment, and only when your love is CONDITIONAL on YOU receiving healthy, happy love in return ... THAT is when you'll get a healthy, happy relationship. Not a moment before!
My new year resolution!!!!
Often in our own misery we lose sight of what we call the small blessings in life. One very wise person once noted “be glad of the life you have just now, be happy for the moment that had been given to u… because it gives u the chance to love.. to live...”
Standing there, looking down at the woman’s face I wondered if she also felt the same. Her’s was a life well lived. She lived well.. had married well… raised her kids well and died well. But was she happy with her lot in life? Did she suffer any regrets? Or was she the lucky rare ones who don’t have any unfulfilled desires? Had she found satisfaction in life?? Had she considered that she had lived her life well? I do not know! But what I do know is that reviewing others who had lived out their lives had made me aware of the importance of mine.
In a family of unmarried siblings it’s often hard to imagine oneself old, grown n sometimes as I lean over the calendars, (countless times mind u!!), it’s easy to ignore the passage of years as simply a figure that we have to write at the end of the date. My heart still sees myself as younger… yet my mind implores “Take a second look my dear”
I, like many others in my generation had often cherished the notion of a romantic and tragic death at a young age. There had been moments in my life where I had often wished for a release from the worries and the pains that living in this world inevitably brings. But thankfully these moments are fleeting and often brought about by the bout of self-pity and the increasing melancholy. Yet as the days pass and years leap behind, I find myself quaking at the mere thought. I find myself shrinking from its embrace.
I have regrets. Wasted moments, days and years where i seem to have done nothing worth mentioning. I have not cared enough, not given enough, not contributed enough. I have not been all I could have been and should have been or all that I want to be. I have not taken advantage of the valuable time that had been bestowed on me. I had given too much importance to paltry things, too many arguments where i had mindlessly made mountains of mole hills. I had spent a major part of my life buried in a book so that I don’t have to face the world. It was not that i was a cruel person. Or that any person who have such regrets is unsympathetic. We are simply charged with a crime of not doing anything about the situation life had dealth with us. For being too complacent! Too gentle! Too ignorant!
I want to change all that. And I know that it is something that will not happen in days or months. After all I came this far I realized that change will be slow. But I am learning to make myself go out and learn, to experience, to widen my circle. Because life may simply pass you by and leave you nothing to show for the years left beside a memory, a dream. And unless we try something, we shall never know how it may have been like. For some people it may be hard. God knows it is harder for me too… but the first step is always the hardest, or so I am always told. I just hope that that is true… I believe in destiny and fate, but I also believe that it will take a person so far. I have to help myself along the way too. I am sure I will often make a lot of mistakes, sometimes it will be easy. Sometimes it will be hard but it gives courage to know that everyone goes through the same things that we are going through. I will laugh, I will cry, I will have my heart broke, several times, but I will go on… that’s what life is all about.
The path
I watch you as I watch a star,
Through darkness struggling into view,
And loved you better than you knew.
Somehow I knew, that you'd have to go
Your world was not mine, your eyes told me so
Yet it was there I felt the crossroads of time
And I wondered why...
To keep it or not to keep it!
For a people who claim to be as old as time, we do seem intent on outranking any other country in the number of political parties that we have. In the brief period since they had been allowed to form we had seem approx 10 parties come into existence. Is such a number sensible? Is it worth all the expenses and discontent? That is a question that had been put for debate. We had ratified our incumbent constitution on August 2008, dreaming of newer beginnings. But keeping the recent happenings in mind, it is understandable that some people seem to be questioning the very idea of a multiparty democracy. Upon asked many will gladly tell you that they had been much more happier and more content with the system that existed before. Many will blame them to be ignorant, careless, boneless or toothless. But the fact remains, perhaps there is some truth to what they say as well but what then.....
It is true that there are some fundamental changes that are necessary in our country, a change that is most likely to happen if we adhere to the new environment of awareness that is sweeping our nation. Granted, there is an increasing discontent when it comes to the increasing disconnection between the citizens and the elected leaders. But what of it. Will a new leader be able to solve that problem? Will he work for the greater good? Or his own good? These are questions that had been plaguing the many who remain undecided about their decision post the first round of election in our country.
Many of us question the need for political parties, and after all why should we not. A majority of them had not been able to give us a very good demonstration of what they are all about, that is apart from flinging dirt on one another – many of them seem as intent to get power as the opposition which seem just as intent to stay in power.
However need them we must, because a democracy needs “strong” “sustainable parties” which have the capacity and ability to provide policy choices that shows us that they have the ability to govern for the public good. To preserve and protect individual rights and freedoms, a democratic people must work together to shape the government of their choosing.
Unfortunately many of our “political leaders” seem to have forgotten the public good. Public good had been given the back seat in the bit to rank themselves the position of power. A representative democracy such as the one “we the people” are aiming for will be hard to achieve with there being no or one political party. But will our coalition which at best of times had been weak and which by its very own admission is together for one and one purpose alone “being down the incumbent president”, be strong enough to withstand the pressures that will inevitably be put before them in the time to come...
A lot of people believe that the solutions will come magically to them if they abstain from voting the second time, the ostrich syndrome i say. hiding our heads in the sand will not give us the solution, infact it robs from us the right to open our mouths the next time, harping on one injustice or the other. after all what right do those people have now to shout, when they did not choose to participate in building the nation.
Handling love
If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart. If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return.
Do not take advantage, do not cause pain.
How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.
If you fall in love with another, and she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.
Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.
Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you.
Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit.
Give it to the world around you in anyway you can.
This is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.
The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need.
They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love.
They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.
Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you.
But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery.
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.
Don't deny love just only you don't want to be hurt...
IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN,
IT WILL COME AGAIN!
(a card form 231greetings.com)
From a distance
Few days back I was reminded of what really matters in my life and spent quite a while thanking god for the considerably long list of things that i am grateful for (c me good right!!! hah) . I had lived many years, and lived well I hope. Had lots of friends, hopefully had made a difference in many other lives as well (like they had been instrumental in mine).
Thankfully I have had the pleasure of having some pretty good and consistent friends in my life. A couple of them I had been friends for nearly twelve years and we have easily got to the point that we feel no hesitation in calling each other twice or thrice or even more depending on our moods. Most of these life long friends had been collected and treasured over a life time.
However, one should not always claim to have met the best of people in life. I had met and grew up and grew out of a lot of odd flakes and disloyal people but every time I come across such a character I always feel extreme pleasure in knowing that in my life there are people who I can bother at three in the morning, just because I have a heartache. I am lucky to have a small circle of close friends have been through a lot of "friend stuff” with me and are still tight.
Luckily, the hype I made for myself in college didn't let me down either when i was studying and I developed some great friends throughout my time there. Lots of surprises in that people who I never thought I'd be friends with are now among the closest of buddies. Sadly, I did move again and left all of those friends behind. However, I still feel a connection with them despite the distance. We still call each other every now and then to catch up. It's very difficult to keep in touch when you're so far away, we email and play phone tag, but it's always "I love you and I miss you, Always know that I'm here" and that's just a wonderful source of warm & fuzzy when you need it. We still bond after all these years. therefore the lesson learnt here is that Friends can live far away or right next door, can have radically different backgrounds, can argue and make up, and can stay best friends forever - if they know how to keep a friendship alive. Friendships also have different depths; some are closer to the heart, some more superficial-but they're all useful and good.
I discovered that having good friends is especially helpful when I am going through any kind of hard time (like last week, and one often discovers who ones friends are and who should not be included in this list in moments like this): experiencing anxiety, depression, delusional thinking; living having a loss in your life (like going through a particularly tough breakup); or just being under a lot of stress. At times like these, good friends and supporters can make all the difference.
When you are with good friends you feel good about yourself, and you are glad to be with them. A friend who respects and trust you and the feelings are mutual. A person who understands and accepts us as who we are and leaves us space to change and grow.
A man in a focus group said, "Friendship is a continuing source of bonding, releasing, and creating in yourself and with the other person. There is an emotional bond." And this evening i felt particularly glad that i have the set of frirnds that i have...
A walk on the beach
The new school year came with few new perks and cons. One of the perks, (well I consider it a perk some of the days that is) is the requirement to wake up much earlier than what most people are used to….. Advantage of this being that it allows me and some other mis fortunate human being (who I can drag with me on my early morning walks - a rare thing I must tell you Arun!!!! ) to enjoy a few moments of solitude.
The Short shrubs and the taller trees paving the winding road are still to this day sometimes dotted with dainty dabs of red and pink, left over from the recent celebration of the nation’s victory in the SAAF championship. The victory and the celebration is noting but a fleeting memory in the minds of a few… but these lonesome decorations remained. Like brave foot solders left after battle. This road had witnessed a lot of madness the past one month. Mind you, just because i say madness it does not mean that i had not participated with abandon in the madness either. I had... n enjoyed every mad moment of it all the same....
There was noting that disturbed the tranquil flapping of the tides against the shore, the balmy saltiness of the ocean purfumed the crisp air around us as we walked down the steps on to the beach. The surf splashes against shore as if casting away any anxiety in its determined course to ebb and flow. We see no traces of the normal activity today, the screaming rushing people or empty bottles, just only the footprints of few others who had chosen this beach as a solitary escape and the waves.
We wriggled our feet in the sleek, soft white sand, feeling the wind play with our hair and cloths :P,i could not help but give a sigh of contentment as we at down to enjoy the show. This was the world at its best… the break of dawn and all that spirt gave way to one of the greatest color displays of nature. Peace and tranquillity prevailed as we looked on at the magnificent sight of the fiery sun rising from the horizon, splattering its golden shafts generously on its colossal canvas of sky and sea. Words fail to describe the grandeur of the physical phenomenon, but it is so much more, the spiritual aura that mysteriously affects the depths of my soul.
The dawn of a new day. i look towards the horrizon and think, somewhere close by, just across the ocean someone will be waking up to this same delightful display. Some where furthur, a friend will be hopping on to the bus to go to college, and somewhere else another friend will be going to bed. All so precious. "let this day be true to all of them" is the prayer that goes up with the call of the birds.... let all of them be in peace this wonderful, beautiful day.....with luck, this can be a treasure for all of them
to my darling Arun! let him look at the skies today and smile.......
What if we want more than just friendship?
I believe every one of us had gone through the stage where we had fallen in love with one of the friends that we have in our circle, or (horrors!) the closest friend that we have (from the opposite sex!). Perhaps we all know are familiar with how AGONIZING a feeling it is when this actually happens to us.
While there are always things we can do to try to move this friendship to the next level (the most profound of all advices will be given by our best mates, our welfare officers in such situations) - the scariest thing for all of us is that there is a very high chance of us ending up with nothing more than a wounded ego as a reward for this effort. To make matters worse, we can also loose the friendship as well. So putting efforts to move the friendship to the next level can be risky at best. Scary! What if the "friend" does not see us in the same light as we see them? What if things become so awkward between us afterwards that both parties may end up loosing the precious friend that we had? Is the effort worth the risk??
Many a time we are left with the painful choice, do we tell that person of our feelings and risk loosing that comfortable relationship that we are in, and keep getting hurt for the effort? Perhaps this is the reason why many of us remain “friends” with the people we love, constantly afraid that we may do or say something which may jeopardize even this relationship that we have with the person.
The other option is to just hang in there and wait for this friend of ours to wake up one fine day and realize that he/she had been in love with us all along? (This when we think of it realistically may not happen… well, may not happen for such a number of cases. The lucky few who had been successful are an exception here. ). To chase them around and get more and more bogged down in our own head and emotions?
Or do we Cut our losses now, and end the friendship ourselves? (Perhaps we can come and take up where we left later) This may seem like the cowardly way out in many cases, but the real the question here is, can we continue such a friendship? Can we bear to continue with a person who, in our mind, we no longer consider as a friend and For who our perspective and feelings had totally changed? Can we continue lying???
I will walk alone....for now..
I walk alone in solitude, my first chance to be on my own after the whole day spent surrounded by people, a chance to think, to be on my own. Funny is it not, solitude — the word is scary to most people yet here i am longing to have a chance to be on my own. To hear my own thoughts for a change, to be on my own for a moment.
Sadly, in our current frenetically gregarious society, giving voice to such a desire will automatically brand a person as antisocial, such individuals will be deemed to be neurotic – or worse. Social norms dictate that one should be a social butterfly at all times. Fully decked up, with never exhausting energy levels, huge smiles, no frowns or complaints. We are expected to be constantly on the move, on a high, scurrying some where important. Our society considers the loner, by definition, to be something of a misfit and the immediate assumption from friends and relatives is that such individuals must be lonely and miserable. Help, often unwelcome, come poring in. In the form of quests for partners, for lost love, and more often than not, a nuclear family of four which is simply a requirement for a happy life.
But loneliness and solitude are not synonymous. In fact, it is possible to feel lonely and isolated in the midst of a crowd. Being among people is no guarantee that one will not be lonely, for loneliness is a state of mind. I should know. I can "happily" say that i had been there, and done that too...
Demanding some time for your very own self sometimes does not mean that i support living your whole life alone. But, sometimes it is easier to simply be. I think every woman and man should be given the change to choose the path for themselves without "helpful" and "interested" onlookers giving a "helping hand". i believe it is the factor that keeps us sane every working day of our life. To be on our own without being lonely and without being disturbed until we are ready to come out of the cocoon ready to exercise out our wings
For you, my love.....
Maybe I can hold you in my arms
if only in my dreams.
So I can look into your eyes,
and whisper what you really mean to me.
Maybe I can softly kiss your lips,
if only for you to realize how dear you are to me.
So i can tell you that I can feel you in my heart,
each moment every day.
Maybe tomorrow when I awaken,
if only you will be by my side.
For I have always known you will
in the sands of time.
Maybe soon you will know,
that I think of you each day, each min, each second,
Now and forever.
If only you will stay in my heart forever.
(for someone truly special)
Just for laughs!
this was a message i found weirdly to be on the more accurate side, so thought will put it up.... bet u had come across it before... if not in writing, than practically..... heh
Nine words women use ... and their meanings
1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying beware
9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3
“A persistent rise in general price level” …… not inflation?????
There had been much talk in the recent times about inflation, and (surprisingly) a lot of confusion about what inflation is in this country. Especially by the people who are supposed to be experts in it…. today inflation had become the issue of the moment. Budget does not have money and the economy is broke.
Granted, our economy is not as stable as it should have been, the prices are sky rocketing with each passing day (one of my friends who recently visited Male’ decided that eating out is not an option any more as he commented on the price of a milk shake in male’. Surprisingly I had to admit, I had actually taken the price of that for granted). Simple thing u say, but when the price of a can of fish (let alone the other essential ingredients for survival –milk, vegetables or more basically speaking the prices of things like a roof over our head!!!), which incidentally is produced in Maldives, hits an all time record high of 15 – 20 MRF ($=12.75) that is something to be worried about. (Mind, this had been available for as cheap as 5MRF, once a happier time ago)
The negative consequences of this has been that many who work either in the Government or the private sector are not able to make ends meet as their salaries and remuneration have not been able to keep up with the rising prices. What is of graver concern is that the Government is not seen to be doing anything to control skyrocketing inflation. With our Finance Minister insisting that we do not suffer from inflationary effects, it’s a rather ominous omen for the teachers who will be going on strike on the first of July in protest of lower salaries that are not sufficent to grant them a decent living standard.
So what on earth is inflation? One of the interviewers in the national TV commented we have some 16% inflation in this small nation. In Our corner of the world this is indeed a high figure. But not one of the people on air at that time was able to explain what inflation was about.
Our people do know that it is about increasing prices, but so what? What is the issue? Why is it happening? What could be done to control it?
The main reason why price stability is so important is that if they are not, than it has a lot of adverse effects on the economy. Investment, consumption and standard of living will go into a slump in the near future. This is perhaps the way we are heading.
The country’s development has been centered upon the tourism industry and its complementary service sectors, transport, distribution, real estate, construction, and ofcos the government! But the Maldive economy, had always been and, still is characterized by a very narrow economic base, composed mainly of tourism and the fisheries industry. Since fish catch is declining through out the country for sometime, so we can just as easily scratch out the revenue that we can get from that sector being considerable. That leaves only tourism to bear the burden of the whole economy.
Meanwhile, the spending of the government had increased, salary increases that are rarely proportional and sometimes totally unreasonable (according to some, me included, well perhaps sour grapes!), the various public sector building projects (some not really needed, while some are desperately wanted) and the other various expenditures had been continuing to increase. Than comes the question, how on earth are they financing all of these with the revenue prospects so low? That’s where the crutch of the whole thing is... it is obtained by large through indirect taxes. Indirect taxes which lead to rising prices again. With half of the nation clamoring for pay increases to bear the burden of the high costs, the government is staggering in the race to increase the salaries of civil servants, and since it does not seem to be making much progress in increasing the national income, this had put a dampener on the whole entire issue.
Due to this the average standards of living of the Maldivian people are at an all time low . This not only forces people to take up multiple jobs to live a decent life, but in addition this is leading to many other social problems as well...........
IF ONLY.......
If only you could see
what I see in you...
If only you knew how you still live in me,
when I’m wakeful,
and in my dreams.
If only you realised knew i long to walk right up
and talk to you a while,
and see if I can make you smile.
If only you know how i wish we could turn back time
and keep the promises we made,
that we swore we wouldn’t break.
If only we are healed when we insist we are,
all the memories just ebb away
and we can start afresh
If only …
If only….
What if we want more than just friendship?
I believe every one of us had gone through the stage where we had fallen in love with one of the friends that we have in our circle, or (horrors!) the closest friend that we have (from the opposite sex!). And we all know how AGONIZING it is when this actually happens.
While there are always things we can do to try to move this friendship to the next level (the most profound of all advices will be given by ur best mates) - the scariest thing for all of us is that there is a very high chance of us ending up with nothing more than a wounded ego as a reward for this effort. To make matters worse, we can also loose the friendship as well….
Perhaps this is the reason why many of us remain “friends” with the people we love, constantly afraid that we may do or say something which may jeopardize even this relationship that we have with the person.
Here, unfortunately, we are left with the painful choice, do we tell that person of our feelings and risk loosing that comfortable relationship that we are in, and keep getting hurt for the effort? Just hang in there and wait for this friend of ours to wake up one fine day and realize that he/she had been in love with us all along? (This when we think of it realistically may not happen… well, may not happen for such a number of cases. The lucky few who had been successful are an exception here. ). To chase them around and get more and more bogged down in our own head and emotions?
Or do we Cut our losses now, and end the friendship ourselves? Because the question here is, can we continue such a friendship? Can we bear to continue with a person who we no longer consider as a friend??? For who our perspective and feelings had totally changed? Can we continue lying???
A box of crayons
We could learn a lot from Crayons:
Some are sharp, some are pretty
some are dull, some have weird names,
all in different colours....
but they exist very nicely the same box
(taken from a card in 321greetings.com)
Changing our thinking... thats the secret!
Ever notice that some days where everything seems goes right for u? you are on a roll... virtual strangers seem to look more friendly as they nod and smile at you as they pass by. The clouds are non- existent, the sun just right… the time just perfect???
Where as on bad days, we seem to be meeting hostility and unhappiness where ever we go. Nothing ever seems to go right as the whole day seem to go down hill……
I had often wondered why this is so… I guess the old saying "look for the best in things and you will only see the best in them" saying is correct. On a good day we are so elated that we only have eyes for the good things in life, so we stumble aross kindness, romance, happiness and smiles were ever we look to. Where as on the bad days its the opposite..... We seem to act as magnets which attract the bad, the worse and the ugly.
So the question is what can we do to change. The answer seem to be knocking on our very noses. When we look for something it is inevitable that we will get that something. Always! Therefore it becomes crucial that we change our thinking so that we start to seeing the positive in every situation. Perhaps this is the secret of being truly happy. To learn to appreciate the best in everything before sinking ourself into the depths of helplessness.
One such problem that many of us suffer from is the lack of selfesteem, or the lower selfesteem. No matter how many compliments we recieve through out the day, the one criticism haunts us for the rest of the day. We forget the good, concentrate on the bad... so all that our eyes are willing to see is the bad. If we struggle with feeling attractive, for example, we might say, "I love my body. I am feeling fit, gorgeous, and glowing with life. I am beautiful." But a little voice inside our head may always protest, "But I am not fit; I'm fat. I'm not beautiful; I'm a frump." If we give in to the voice of "truth" comming from inside us, we will end up as negetive as the thoughts are. Instead a change of thought from the neg side of things to the positive things that we have... like a beautiful smile, soft glowing skin.. these so called home truths may become insignificant once we realise just how many people like us as we are...
So perhaps its time to change those thoughts.... because only a truly happy person can expect to find happiness.... and i belive that happiness is not something that comes without effort.
Mossville gang
Mossville and its gang at its best and worst!
There were once four very different girls. Each so different from the other that any one who came across them living together were often surprised at the harmony that existed between the four.
One was an ultra gentle creature whose wrath knew no bounds when she was hungry. The other was a go getter who believed that nothing should come in the way of her and development. The third friend was rather weird. Trapped into the living arrangement due to her roommate’s decision to live with fellow country lasses she followed her into the mess like any good friend would no doubt do. And the fourth was the most interesting character of all, quickest to temper, her anger was often like a tempest that rose and fell with the tides.
Yet surprisingly all four found ways to coexist together. If not for want and desire, than need alone had forced them to make the various adjustments necessary to enable them to live together, such great were the adjustments required that sometimes it did indeed strain quite a few strings, but the bonds were greater..... stronger... made of better stuff. Perhaps the need to stay together was greater!!!!! One will never know, and i hope we never find out either.. somethings are better left unsaid, unexplored and secret!
Over a simple coffee..... or two...
It’s nearly a year since I had been back and last night I was caught up in such a massive bout of what I call “friend sickness” or “Arun and Rad sickness” that I started looking through all the pictures on my special CD and could not help but feel a bit blue.
I can’t believe how quickly the time has passed and how full it has been these months. I kept thinking about all the lessons I had learnt and the memories I had made with my new friends there. About college, class and, more often than what would please our parents, the cutting of class for movies.
I kept laughing and crying alternately as I came across pictures from the great times of those three years toether and the pictures that struck me the most were of the ones that showed the smiling faces of us three seated in the Coffee Day.
It felt as if those laughing eyes were challenging me to remember which day and which topic it was that had brought those huge mischievous grins over our faces.(not that our faces ever were without the smiles when we were together). "The surprising gang of three."
The 
weird and gangly boy, the strange foreigner from some island nation and the snobby little bratty gal…. a friendship that surprised many in our class, a friendship that felt all the more right for this reason alone.
One of the things that I had learnt from these two who I here call “Daddy’s shirt” and “Rad’s” is the art of ensuring that a simple coffee in the lazy afternoons last long enough for it to become an evening dinner!…..
What a lot of fun that we shared on those simple lazy, hazy afternoons. Ofcoz one should always sympathize with the teachers who would miss us in class that day, but for us, for that moment, nothing else mattered but the times that we were able to spend together. (attendance to the classes were secondary, sometimes mind, when it came to the mouthwatering pastries and even more juicy gossip that was always at hand to share)
One would always wonder what plots were hatched in those meetings, and surprisingly there were plenty. Over one a wonderful coffee — the one that both my friends loved the most and the one that also tickled my taste buds — was a coffee called “Kape Nirvanna” by the Coffee Day.
Of course, not all the carbs we consumed were freshly made. Sometimes, they were mass-produced. One of my fondest memories is of picking up of Kentucky Fried Chicken burger and heading over to seat our selves in the window seats to enjoy the scarce sun of the winter. We all looked like cats at these times, but who cared. We were happy. The meal included all the fixin's: chips, cole slaw and, needless to say, coke. The best I had ever tasted, pure blisss…
The rummages in our bags in the hunt for that extra coin that will ensure another coffee, or a packet of chips… or the simple running up and down commercial street to meet up for movies. What ever we did we all did with a sense of abandon. Of innocent enjoyment. HAPPINESS!
It's now been more than 12 months since those happy events came to an end, yet, every so often, it hits me almost as hard as the day I had left. But rather than resort to tears, I remind myself of the good times I was fortunate to have, that not everyone is fortunate to have. Love you both so much!!!
The power of a "Touch"
"It is the magic of a touch, the power of a hug... that make life joyful."
Science tells us that a touch, a hug, triggers the release of brain endorphins: an endogenous analgesic more powerful than heroin or morphine and it is increasingly being studied, research findings hint that not only does touch lower stress levels, but that it can boost the immune system (amon
g its many other benefits).
But touch is more than just a union of brain chemicals and perhaps, there is more to hug and touch than just release of endorphins.
A touch provides comfort in a freezing night. The warmth it brings is better than the warmth that a well treasured blanket can provide. This touch can even tame a wild animal. So why not us?
It’s amazing that this simple touch can convey a magnitude of meanings. It can do wonders to cheer up a person. A hug can say, ‘I love you’ or, ‘I would like you to stay’ or “how are you?”. A hug is also a ‘welcome back again’ or ‘I have missed you’. It can be a silent means of communication where words are no longer needed.
When i recieve a hug at the end of a very hectic day, I can actually feel that all my aches and concerns of the day disappear instantly. Feelings of contentment and the realization of a day well spent are not far to follow. (Not to mention a sigh or two!)
Indeed, touch is the best remedy we need to own and claim forever and it's free. And the nicest thing about a hug is that you can’t usually give one without getting one back in return. (Lets face it; sometimes we need the boost too!) And sometimes it makes us realise just how important we are to other people. One should always be made to realise ones importance to others, (once in a while.......)
Violence and us.
Well known as a peace loving nation and peaceful nation for so long, things are certainly going a lot wrong in our small country. The bouts of violence in the country had been blamed on a verity of different things by different individual groups in the country.
The mothers say it’s because of lack of Islamic education in the youth. The politicians say that it’s because of the introduction of democracy in the country; the fathers say it’s because of lack of professionalism in the country’s police force. The government says it’s because of the mob mentality of the young. The grandparents say it’s the television………
Every one seems to be in a hurry to place the blame on the other and no one is ready to accept the part that they play in these developments. The violence, the open warfare in some cases, the stabbings and the murders seem to be telling us a tale of their own. What had gone wrong with our country??? What had gone so bad that it’s now a matter of life and death to walk on the streets at night? Streets that had been heavens for so long!
The issue of violence need to be brought out and discussed more openly than before as these attacks indicate the beginning of something even more sinister. We can now often observe that skipping school, hanging out in certain places where they are often not wanted, use of bad language, eve teasing, spray-painting, gang violence… had become common among our youth. Drugs and violence had become a way of life in some cases and to control this swift action is required.
Local citizens and organizations need to get involved and join forces with the government authorities in controlling these issues . Everyone has a share in this; to play the blame the other game or simply pretending to be ostriches is not an option that is open to us now.
The next to get hurt can be our son, brother, sister, father or some other important member of our family. Together we need to tackle the problem from its very root, to persevere our way of life. Together we can make our communities a drug free and safe (one should always hope for the best). We should all join our hands to establish, once more, a peaceful culture in the Maldives.
For a Five-Year-Old
A snail is climbing up the window-sill
into your room, after a night of rain.
You call me in to see, and I explain
that it would be unkind to leave it there:
it might crawl to the floor; we must take care
that no one squashes it. You understand,
and carry it outside, with careful hand,to eat a daffodil.
I see, then, that a kind of faith prevails:
your gentleness is moulded still by words
from me, who have trapped mice and shot wild birds,
from me, who drowned your kittens, who betrayed
your closest relatives, and who purveyed
the harshest kind of truth to many another.
But that is how things are: I am your mother,
And we are kind to snails.
Fleur Adcock, Poems 1960-2000
A Walk with Sara
But for now let’s just enjoy the walk.
Falling leaves become a delight, colors of joy. Rushing winds become bliss without malice. Rapid fire questions come regularly and they are often mixed with her odd and surprisingly diverse comments. Keeping up with her thought process is as easy as keeping up with a very fast rabbit. "Why are there so many trees in that house and none there? That's a baby tree! Why are the flowers red? Look that cloud looks like a flower? How come that person does not have any hair? Why is the moon still seen in the day time? Why does it follow us when we walk?......”
Sometimes I just nod, or say I don't know, or simply just laugh. My worries may still be there lurking somewhere to jump at me, yet my heart, at this very moment, is full towards bursting at this pleasant time together. It is a gift just for me! This precious time to look at the world through her eyes, not jaded, not guarded. To be able to feel her innocent delight, to feel her contentment just being with me, to look at the clouds and search for shapes there, to look at trees and wonder why the color changes when the lights hit the leave. As much as I enjoy solitary walks or simple walks with friends, having my little companion today is special.
Some people say once you've lost your innocence you can't get it back. I disagree. It's there, waiting for you to discover it. You just have to make an effort. If one would but try looking through new eyes Life may become a happier surprise.
Walking away!
How does one walk away from the one we loved and think of starting all over once over again?
How does it become so easy to walk away and introduce that person as a "friend"?
How will change the roads that we had traveled together for so long?
How will we be able to forget the love once shared, once so strong, for so long?
How will we replace the laughter, the tears, the tantrums, the times of joy and the memories shared?
How cruel it is to have to start over once again. To start from scratch.
Yet sometimes, there is no other option but to walk away. Sometimes its easier to travel the paths alone rather than together. Sometimes it's simply easier to walk away and let our selves be healed.
We may promise ourselves that we will never fall in love again, make another new friend, go to a specific place be it a simple café that you and the person had been to for the simple reason that we are often overwhelmed with the memories that linger there. But life does not allow us such indulgences. At least not to all.
Memories remain like foot prints, you may forget his/her smile, laugh, smell….. but there will come a gust of wind and all the memories come tumbling back to you.
Time does heal, but the scars remain. Even if for now, the pain is excruciating. The prayer in the heart is, may life be gentle with ther person i loved and hope that they realize it was simply better this way.
