Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can
disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to
every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel like there is
something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your
optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best,
and expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on the
greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give
every living person you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too
strong for fear, and to happy to permit the
presence of trouble.
http://www.villagehero.com/motivational-poems.htm
Promise Yourself
More effort = better results??? always?
I believe that we all had been in the same situation at one time or the other in our lives where most of us think of ‘giving’ and ‘giving’ and ‘giving’ to our loved one as being a GOOD thing. True… it is a good thing, something that we had been taught that from the crib, and when it's done in a healthy manner any relationship that is fed by that giving will forever be healthy. Not turn into one of those poisonous fountains where every whiff reeks of resentment, resentment because it’s you who has to give all the time.
So all we have to do to keep our relationships healthy is to make it a balanced experience where we learn to give and to take from each other, where we learn to look after our own needs along with the needs of those who are cherished by us. So SIMPLE! Right!
WRONG: it's not always that simple. Many of us women unwittingly (and in a mistake belief that it will increase our LOVE) give TOO FREELY to the men in their lives. Many end up disillusioned, resentful, hurt, angry and dissatisfied with the lot that they had been served in life.
The Question however is: WHAT'S MISSING? Even after so much giving, WHAT IS WRONG?
RECIPROCITY! That’s what goes missing. And that’s what eventually poisons the whole entire pond of affection.
If in a relationship you're the one who's giving, doing all the work,... and you're not getting anything back for all the effort that is being put, (apart from that being one sided and hence being not a proper relationship )... it is a form of EXPLOITATION! (So very Ugly is it not? Had anyone ever looked at it that way I wonder?)
'But what about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?' Some would ask. 'How is THAT exploitative?' While there is nothing wrong with unconditional love, we all should understand that it becomes “love “only when it’s reciprocated on both sides. Not on one side! (Just a healthy form of infatuation than?)
In ANY relationship there needs to be a balance. If there is no balance, and if you're the one 'doing all the work', then yes, you are the more vulnerable one. It’s not a healthy relationship as nothing healthy will ever come out of it. 
This is the reason why, after many years of unprecedented love, many woman turn out to be bitter, hateful creatures. They become tired of giving love and care but receiving none in return. However this bitterness should not be laid totally at their partner’s door either. We as women had made the bed ourselves in the first stages of our relationships. We had been giving so unconsciously and instinctively for so long that we do not even know why we are so resentful ourselves and hence, we remain unable to explain the source of our hatred to our loved ones who remain confused, harboring their own dissatisfaction with the sudden change. After all, had it not worked for years? So what is the reason for the anger and the dissatisfaction now?
The only way to avoid this is to understand that you as an individual have needs of your own and when you feel strongly about something (like the fact that you deserve to be loved and treated well), you have to demonstrate some backbone. Stand up for yourself! Don’t just keep giving and giving in the hope that sooner or later they'll just magically start reciprocating.
This is not one of those things where 'MORE EFFORT = BETTER RESULTS’.
Most of us woman develop the habit of repressing our instincts even if the instincts are screaming themselves horse warning us of the danger. We have to truly learn to understand and accept that female intuition in many times, in this especially, is usually correct. If you're starting to feel that you are being taken for granted, as if he's not appreciating you enough, or that all your efforts are going unnoticed, THEY PROBABLY ARE!
What you need to do here is expend LESS effort, not more! (this is not the same thing as tit for tat or withdrawing ourselves, or playing hard to get, but it’s simply avoiding giving more than necessary and smothering the person in your love with the intention of binding the person to you)
There is never going to be any genuine closeness or love between you and a man unless he is able to RESPECT you, respect which will dwindle away to nothing if he is able to treat you like trash while getting the best out of you, when he is so sure of you that he can walk all over you. Love the man, but love yourself respect a bit too. For Without respect, there is NO TRUST. And without trust, there is NO RELATIONSHIP. At least, not one worth being in!
Because only when you treat yourself like you have some value, and only when you EXPECT to receive good treatment, and only when your love is CONDITIONAL on YOU receiving healthy, happy love in return ... THAT is when you'll get a healthy, happy relationship. Not a moment before!
My new year resolution!!!!
Often in our own misery we lose sight of what we call the small blessings in life. One very wise person once noted “be glad of the life you have just now, be happy for the moment that had been given to u… because it gives u the chance to love.. to live...”
Standing there, looking down at the woman’s face I wondered if she also felt the same. Her’s was a life well lived. She lived well.. had married well… raised her kids well and died well. But was she happy with her lot in life? Did she suffer any regrets? Or was she the lucky rare ones who don’t have any unfulfilled desires? Had she found satisfaction in life?? Had she considered that she had lived her life well? I do not know! But what I do know is that reviewing others who had lived out their lives had made me aware of the importance of mine.
In a family of unmarried siblings it’s often hard to imagine oneself old, grown n sometimes as I lean over the calendars, (countless times mind u!!), it’s easy to ignore the passage of years as simply a figure that we have to write at the end of the date. My heart still sees myself as younger… yet my mind implores “Take a second look my dear”
I, like many others in my generation had often cherished the notion of a romantic and tragic death at a young age. There had been moments in my life where I had often wished for a release from the worries and the pains that living in this world inevitably brings. But thankfully these moments are fleeting and often brought about by the bout of self-pity and the increasing melancholy. Yet as the days pass and years leap behind, I find myself quaking at the mere thought. I find myself shrinking from its embrace.
I have regrets. Wasted moments, days and years where i seem to have done nothing worth mentioning. I have not cared enough, not given enough, not contributed enough. I have not been all I could have been and should have been or all that I want to be. I have not taken advantage of the valuable time that had been bestowed on me. I had given too much importance to paltry things, too many arguments where i had mindlessly made mountains of mole hills. I had spent a major part of my life buried in a book so that I don’t have to face the world. It was not that i was a cruel person. Or that any person who have such regrets is unsympathetic. We are simply charged with a crime of not doing anything about the situation life had dealth with us. For being too complacent! Too gentle! Too ignorant!
I want to change all that. And I know that it is something that will not happen in days or months. After all I came this far I realized that change will be slow. But I am learning to make myself go out and learn, to experience, to widen my circle. Because life may simply pass you by and leave you nothing to show for the years left beside a memory, a dream. And unless we try something, we shall never know how it may have been like. For some people it may be hard. God knows it is harder for me too… but the first step is always the hardest, or so I am always told. I just hope that that is true… I believe in destiny and fate, but I also believe that it will take a person so far. I have to help myself along the way too. I am sure I will often make a lot of mistakes, sometimes it will be easy. Sometimes it will be hard but it gives courage to know that everyone goes through the same things that we are going through. I will laugh, I will cry, I will have my heart broke, several times, but I will go on… that’s what life is all about.
